confession (day 71)

Acknowledging your flaws is a good thing right?

Because I realized last night (while in the middle of a panic attack/nervous breakdown) that I am 1. completely obsessed with my grades and 2. slightly over-dramatic when it comes to the world ending because of my grades.

Maybe this is because I'm a Leo (yes, there are a lot of things I blame on when I was born, I can't help things out of my control :) )... I like to be good at things. Typically, I was always good at whatever job I was doing. Now that I do a job a 5 year old could do, I like to be good at school. I go to great extremes to be good at school and spend more hours every week working on schoolwork than I spend doing anything else.

As for the slight issue of being dramatic... I try not to be dramatic in day to day life. But when something happens that I feel like I can't control, I panic and think it might just be the end of the world. 

And last night, the world almost ended.

Both of my classes this summer are online, so I was on the college website taking my history practice exam (4 times... just to be certain)  when I decided to check on my grades. I looked at history first... my average is a B. My heart raced a little. So I spent a few minutes doing math (which I despise) trying to figure out what grade I needed to get on my last test and my final in order to get an A. 

Then I checked English... My average is a 92.1 % and I still have to hand in 2 more essays, both which I feel I did a pretty good job on. But as I was scrolling through, I noticed there wasn't a grade next to my 2nd essay. So I checked the submission page for it, no submission. I checked the overall grade average for the class... nothing next to my essay 2. Panic had officially sunk in.

But I worked soooo hard on that essay!!!

Is there a computer glitch and it's just not showing my grade? 

Is it possible I forgot to submit it?

If so, how will that affect my grade?!

I frantically wrote my professor, who happens to be younger than me and a real stickler for deadlines, asking if he could check on my grade for me. But he's in the process of moving and hasn't gotten back to me yet.

I tried drinking a beer. I called my mom while drinking a beer and she told me to stop being so dramatic and not worry until I heard back from him. I talked to Miranda while I drank another beer, who told me to take deep breaths and see what he says. 

I feel slightly better, but there is still that tight feeling in my chest that will either go away or extremely intensify when I get his email.

I actually feel a little better admitting that I'm kind of a freak about it...

Hi, My name is sara and I'm obsessed and over-dramatic when it comes to my grades.

I wonder if there's a support group for this? :)

Thanks for listening to me rant and panic... hope you're all having a wonderful wednesday!

Day 71 - A picture of your favorite piece of jewelry

 I got this matching necklace and earrings set from my mom for my birthday last year :)


  1. awee I'm sure your grade on that essay is going to be EXCELLENT! I can imagine your frustration with not seeing it online :) One thing im sure of though is that you will pass this semester with flying colors! YOUR SUPER SMART SARA <3

  2. Awww, I was pretty obsessive about my grades in college as well. And now I'm obsessive/dramatic about work stuff on a daily basis. So I understand.

    What helps me is to remind myself that even with worse case scenario, 99% of the things I worry about don't really matter. (I started to type "marry" instead of "matter" - think I'm obsessing about wedding planning a little bit?)

    Sending you big hugs.

  3. Well, maybe by now you've heard back from your teacher and all is well. I did have to chuckle when I saw that you stopped everything and 'did some math'. I used to do that with my checkbook once upon a time... "if I rework it enough all this extra money will be there..." ;)

    Just remember all will be well. Always. :) You should have meditated and had a little chat with Spirit, that always sets me straight! ;)

  4. Lol, sorry don't mean to laugh, but...lol!!! I understand, really I do, that's why it's funny because I can relate. Everything is going to work out ok and you'll have worried yourself over nothing.I hate when I worry over imaginary things but at least when it all works out, it's good for a self-laugh!

  5. Oh yikes. I might be a little freaky myself if that happened! But don't worry - I'm sure things will work out perfectly fine. And even if something DID go wrong with your essay... well, then you'd just have to fix it, and that would be that! :) You'll be fine, Sara. Here's a big HUG for you! <3

  6. Your not the only one who is like that! I used to calculate my grades to see what I had to get on the final test to see my final grade. I hope everything goes well!

  7. Ucckkk... panic attacks >:P Not fun! Everything will turn out fine! ♥ Ohmygosh if you're that obsessed with your grades- they must be really high, right?! ;D Nothing to worry about ♥

    Haha, love that cat pic, btw :)

    Jordan ♫

  8. Good luck with your grade, I bet it was just a glitch!

  9. Don't worry, it's going to be fine! I'm sure it was just a glitch. As you said, your teacher is moving and probably busy and so many he just hasn't updated the grades. There's nothing to worry about- you are a star!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.