thank you

As Turkey Day quickly approaches, I am reminded that despite the number of times daily I think fml, I have so much to be thankful for.
Since i last wrote in August a lot has changed. I started my new job with high hopes on August 2nd. I was greeted outside the door of the county building by a group of people who looked and smelled as if they had not showered in weeks. On my second day of work, about half of my new co-workers exclaimed 'You came back!' when I walked in the door. If only I knew then what I know now.
However, I will not complain about my current employer. I will instead embrace the spirit of this holiday month, and express my gratitude for 1. having a job and 2. hating this job down to the very depth of my soul with such passion that I've enrolled in the spring 2011 semester at the community college closest to my house.
Thank you, present employer, for reminding me how much I hate office politics, drama, gossip and favoritism. Thank you for reminding me how important it is to work hard to make up for those who don't feel it's necessary. Thank you for giving me a reason to get monthly massages to get out all the knots and tightness caused by non-economical chairs.
So January 18th I will attend my first class in over 10 years. I'm thankful for financial aid, the helpful advisers who helped me choose my major and informed me that college math was not necessary. I'm thankful for the support from friends and family. I'm thankful for the desire to learn.
As I sit on the couch watching Letting Go of God on Showtime, i'm thankful for my knee-high argyle socks. I'm thankful for the warm coffee with chocolate mint truffle creamer and sprinkled with cinnamon inside my Philadelphia mug. I'm thankful I went to Michaels and bought a new sketchbook yesterday after my massage.
I'm thankful for the brightly colored leaves in my front yard, raked into nice neat little piles. I'm thankful for the stack of magazines next to me that I love reading. I'm thankful for the mini long distance book club I am in with my bff, Katie, who lives in the ATL. I'm thankful that my dear friend Jesse popped the question to my dear friend Jill, which gave us reason to throw her a bachelorette party last weekend. Which makes me thankful that my dear friend Angela moved to Denver (even though I miss her not living a few miles away from me) so that we could have the party there, because not only were she and her bf very very accommodating and hospitable, it also gave me the opportunity to see the Rocky Mountains for the first time.
I'm thankful for the 40% off coupon that was given to me with my receipt at Michaels yesterday. Now I can go back and buy another canvas to take my mind off the fact that I have to wake up early and drag myself to work tomorrow morning.

recipe for an excellent sunday morning

I've always been a fan of Sundays. Without a doubt, Sunday is my favorite day of the week.
I've been tweaking this wonderful day over the years and I think I've got it pretty close to perfected... for now.
I used to sleep in as late as possibly (usually due to a self induced hangover) and be scrubby (i.e. not showering, laying around in pajamas on the couch watching nothing on TV all day). Appropriately and lovingly referred to as 'Scrubby Sunday'. But as the years pass and I find my tolerance for liquor and hangovers dwindling, I am forced to find other ways to spend my beloved Sunday.
This morning I woke up at 6:30 (on purpose) humming Lionel Ritchie's slow soulful Sunday anthem... and I appreciated that yes, indeed.... Sunday mornings are easy. I let my puppies outside and started brewing a pot of breakfast blend coffee. That's when I realized that it was August 1st. So the scan button in my brain switched the station from Lionel to Bone Thugs N Harmony...
wake up, wake up, wake up... it's the first of the month...
which was quickly replaced with the thought that in 10 days I will be 28.
With all the brain power I can muster before 7 am, I pushed and shoved that thought into a closet in the very back of my head and promptly locked the door, determined to make the best of this day. The last day of my month long vacation.
Moving right along, I took a few sips of coffee, dialed my mom's cell and walked out the front door. I was grateful that it's only in the 90's and took a short walk.
When I got home, I made myself 2 pieces of turkey bacon and 2 eggs sprinkled with Parmesan cheese while listening to my favorite playlist on my Droid. It's appropriately named 'I <3 Zack Braff' because I do. It contains all the songs on the Last Kiss and Garden State Soundtracks. Shuffle is always on and the volume is always up.
It was at this moment that I paused... what a fucking perfect Sunday morning.

order and chaos

Try to look at everything as if you are seeing it for the first time.


That's my goal. But I'm turning 28 in less than 2 weeks... and when I see that number in black and white all the thoughts I was thinking disappeared.

Who says you can't go home?

I just returned from my first home sweet home yesterday... trips down memory lane are always bittersweet.I'm still a little emotional so I'm not going to write about it. My head is still spinning... so much to do in my last few days of freedom before I get back to the 8-5 grind. I wish I could press pause.

a new chapter

I have turned the page.
I'm so over the chapter where my life revolved around a bullshit job where I busted my ass working for an ungrateful jerk.a chapter where I spent my evenings trying to get rid of the stress and irritation what built up throughout the day. the conclusion to this chapter happened on an early Tuesday morning. I packed up my office with a huge smile on my face. with every items packed, vase, books, picture frames, I felt a piece of that built up frustration and anxiety melt away. By the time I had said my good byes and was walking out to my car, box in hand, head held high, sun shining bright, I felt like a brand new person.
Did I have a job before I quit? nope. Was that quite possibility the most immature thing I've done in a long time? absolutely. But I did have an interview scheduled for that Thursday. and it felt so damn good to leave all the bullshit behind.
Fast forward to today. I got the job that I interviewed for. yay! I don't start until August 2nd so I ended up with a month long vacation. I've spent the first half of my month painting, cleaning and reading. I should be packing right now because I will be departing tomorrow morning to spent the next week in my hometown with my family. It's been a year and a half since I've seen them, so this will be a long awaited, joyous reunion. The best part is that the only person who knows is my sister. I can't wait to see the look on my mom's face when I pull in the driveway!
So here's what's coming in this new chapter of my life....
new job, new adventure. working downtown in between the art museum and the library... my dream come true!
more time to pursue my career as an artist. My etsy shop is coming along quite well and I am almost ready to list my first item. My goal is to someday be a full-time artist... so I can spend my day listening to music in paint speckled clothes while pouring my heart and soul onto canvas after canvas.
Life is full of beauty. I plan on taking the time to not only notice it, but appreciate it, too.

Time

where does it seem to go? I seem to be in the midst of a time shortage.
sleep. work. cook. attempt to cook. clean. repeat.
where did the days of laying around in the company of boredom?
instead I find myself constantly going, going, going. surrounded by to-do lists.
remember this. do that. pick up this. purchase that.
I often find myself drifting. daydreaming. waiting. hoping.
I should be working but I am daydreaming about painting.
canvas and paint swirl around my head, painting pretty pictures.
but when I get a spare moment to actually hold a brush in my hand
my ever growing to do list bullies my imagination into submission.
I bought a pair of pink heels today. hot freaking pink.
5:30 is approaching fast and Matchbox 20 is helping the hands on the clock turn.

in with the new

so much has happened in the past decade... as i lay on the cou@h, struggling to type while wrapped in a pretty pink snuggie with two dogs who find me more comfy than their pricey petsmart beds, i am pondering new years resolutions. to declare resolution or not to declare resolution... that is the question.