simply sarafina: 01.12

So I had a big long list of things I wanted to accomplish over my winter break.... unfortunately, I don't think I can cross a single item off my list. But something even better than a goal with a check mark next to it happened, which surprises me because I'm a planner. I like to have a general plan, know what to expect, and checking things off a list is very satisfying to me. Sometimes you just need to let go... and I've found that is when some of the best things happen.

I had been struggling over the past few months to get back in the swing of things after ending a 6 year relationship. Even though it was the best possible decision and I don't regret (at all!), it was still an adjustment and change can be difficult to accept. Although I can be very spontaneous, I'm still very much a creature of habit. Moving 1,000 miles, starting a new job, living in a new house, and starting a new semester all at once was daunting. I feel as though I kind of went through the motions but I was still in shock emotionally. I built a wall and pushed aside my feelings so I didn't have to acknowledge them. I went through all the typical stages and grieved for a broken relationship, struggling with the feelings of stupidity and regret of wasting 6 years of my life.

After much contemplation, I've realized that my time was not wasted. Even though I've discovered things in the past few months that make me doubt the sincerity of the entire relationship, I've learned valuable lessons and collected so many experiences. I've made new friends, traveled new places, and now it's time to move on.

So that's what I've done. It's been a slow journey, but I did it at my own pace and with the help of so many supportive friends and family members.

My winter break has been perfect and productive in a non conventional, no to-do list kind of way. I ran into Chris (who I used to have a huge crush on in high school) the weekend before Christmas and we've been pretty much together ever since then. We have not seen each other in years but both just got out of long relationships and just click. Funny how things work out :) I also start school today... My first semester at University of Massachusetts Amherst. I'm taking 2 required courses, an anthropology class on human nature and a sustainable agriculture class. So far, 2012 has proved to be so much better than 2011... I'm actually excited about turning 30 and seeing what this new year has in store for me!

I have to get ready for work now, but here a few pictures to sum up my winter break...