moving on

So I had a big long list of things I wanted to accomplish over my winter break.... unfortunately, I don't think I can cross a single item off my list. But something even better than a goal with a check mark next to it happened, which surprises me because I'm a planner. I like to have a general plan, know what to expect, and checking things off a list is very satisfying to me. Sometimes you just need to let go... and I've found that is when some of the best things happen.

I had been struggling over the past few months to get back in the swing of things after ending a 6 year relationship. Even though it was the best possible decision and I don't regret (at all!), it was still an adjustment and change can be difficult to accept. Although I can be very spontaneous, I'm still very much a creature of habit. Moving 1,000 miles, starting a new job, living in a new house, and starting a new semester all at once was daunting. I feel as though I kind of went through the motions but I was still in shock emotionally. I built a wall and pushed aside my feelings so I didn't have to acknowledge them. I went through all the typical stages and grieved for a broken relationship, struggling with the feelings of stupidity and regret of wasting 6 years of my life.

After much contemplation, I've realized that my time was not wasted. Even though I've discovered things in the past few months that make me doubt the sincerity of the entire relationship, I've learned valuable lessons and collected so many experiences. I've made new friends, traveled new places, and now it's time to move on.

So that's what I've done. It's been a slow journey, but I did it at my own pace and with the help of so many supportive friends and family members.

My winter break has been perfect and productive in a non conventional, no to-do list kind of way. I ran into Chris (who I used to have a huge crush on in high school) the weekend before Christmas and we've been pretty much together ever since then. We have not seen each other in years but both just got out of long relationships and just click. Funny how things work out :) I also start school today... My first semester at University of Massachusetts Amherst. I'm taking 2 required courses, an anthropology class on human nature and a sustainable agriculture class. So far, 2012 has proved to be so much better than 2011... I'm actually excited about turning 30 and seeing what this new year has in store for me!

I have to get ready for work now, but here a few pictures to sum up my winter break...

Chris & I on the lake for ice softball

Jill & I on New Years Eve

me, Angela, Jill & her dog Denver

me & my sister on Christmas

new hair color & cut!

me, Jamie, Miranda & Lin - girls night out

Angela, Angela, Jill, me & Lin

Franklin & I

happy wednesday!

Last Friday I went to an Art Walk in Fond du Lac, WI with some of my girlfriends...

me, Kelly, Jamie, Sara & Jill

Lucky for me, Jill is friends with the owner of Jennabee Art Gallery & Studio and introduced us. Last night I stopped by the gallery and dropped off 4 of my paintings! Fingers crossed that I sell something :) There's also an art contest that the gallery is having in February that I need to enter and we discussed the possibility of doing an art show in March or April! Which is beyond exciting to even think about!

Jamie owns her own salon and after I made her a wedding gift...

mixed media painting for Mr & Mrs King

she's asked if I could paint a canvas or two to go in the salon. Which would not only be fun to paint, but give me a lot more exposure, too. Things are looking up in the art department of my life :)

Oh, and last but not least...

grades just posted for this semester!

I've been quite busy during my blog break... I've finished fall semester at Oklahoma City Community College and I've been accepted to University of Massachusetts Amherst, where I will be getting my B.A. in Sustainability Studies. I'll be taking all online classes for Spring semester, which starts on January 22nd.

I finished moving most of my things from Oklahoma to Wisconsin, including my puppy, Frankie.

I've been diligently working on handmaking pretty much all of my christmas presents and I have a few commission paintings that have been keeping me busy. I've snapped a few pictures and once the gifts are in the possession of their recipients I will post a few pics of my craftiness (although I can't take full credit... Pinterest was a huge inspiration!)

Here's a few of my latest paintings...

I actually made a new blog for my Creative Writing class that features all of my poetry that I wrote for class this past semester. It's published for anyone who would like to see it... I got 250 out of 250 points and my professor asked if he could use it as an example for upcoming classes :) Look Again

Hopefully now that I'm not waking up to homework, I will have time to start blogging a few mornings a week and get caught up on all of my favorite blogs that I miss so much!

Happy Holiday Week!

fresh paint

well for a while it seems as though I had so many thoughts that I had nothing to say. I had too much time and not enough motivation.

Now my thoughts are still running rampant, but rather than dwelling on the past, they are looking into the future. Now I have too much to do, and not enough time. The less time I have, the more I want to do... figures.

So I have a part time job now... I'm a Marketing Assistant/Intern and work 20-25 hours a week. I'm still taking 4 on-line classes (and maintaining my 4.0) and am drowning in homework. I bought a car last week... yay! I also have been painting and hanging out with my friends...

on a pier on Lake Mendota in Madison, WI w/ Miranda

my latest... 12"x12"x1.5"

And now off to get ready for work! This is only my second week and I'm hoping to get a schedule down so I can start blogging regularly again!

I hope you have a beautiful day :)

if a picture is worth a thousand words

I find it incredibly difficult to focus on sitting inside on my computer doing little things like blogging (and homework!) when there's so much beauty waiting for me outside...

hello fall!

my style in footwear has slightly changed...

early morning sun

Hillary

Star

Julie

horse love

this is why I love fall

woodpecker

so tiny, but so loud!

apples

my favorite tree

because I love laying under it

absorbing it's beauty

maybe this is why I love painting trees

home sweet home :)

starting some seeds for my cold frame!

seeds I ordered from Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds

freshly picked

pumpkin muffins.... yum

washing cherry tomatoes

pickling cherry tomatoes

Lots of pictures, I know... I didn't feel like doing homework and went a little camera-crazy :)
The pictures just seem to sum up my day more so than words.

One more tidbit.... Thank you Steve Jobs for your innovation, creative genius, and inventing the amazing MacBook Pro sitting in front of me <3

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." -- Steve Jobs @ 2005 Stanford Commencement Address.

thank you thursday

So it's been a while since I've acknowledged my thankfulness on a thursday, so here it goes....

Thank you Permaculture Institute. The permaculture design classes I have been taking are so inspiring... not just the knowledge I'm gaining, but the experiences and stories shared by my classmates gives me hope for the future. Here are some great permaculture articles.

Speaking of the future, thank you to Miranda for suggesting a wonderful Sustainable Studies bachelors degree at University of Massachusetts-Amherst. My application is in the mail and my fingers are crossed!

Thank you VH1 for bleeping out the words gun and bullet from Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People. I might be negatively influenced and shoot someone.

Thank you to the guy who works with my dad who gave him the fresh honeycrisp apples and thank you to my dad for passing them along to me... they are delicious!

Thank you to Jonathan Tropper for writing This is Where I Leave You, which made me laugh and cry. It was also the first book I was able to read completely since To Be Sung Underwater by Tom McNeil, which is a tough book to follow. Now on to Work by CrimethInc.

and perhaps the biggest thank you to all of those who are gathering across the country to stand up for freedom and liberty.




I saw posts on facebook talking about Occupy Wall Street. Then I read this article in Yes! magazine. Please read and share... it's a great article and really captures the spirit and purpose behind this movement. People all over the country are uniting and standing together to occupy their cities... I am following Occupy Madison, Occupy Milwaukee, and Occupy OKC and hope to attend each of them at some point within the upcoming weeks. I'm feeling kind of sporadic and if I had the money to get to NY I'd be there right now.

Happy thursday!

turn, turn, turn

So little by little I'm starting to get back to feeling like myself. I'm sure everybody has those days, right? Where you can't quite explain it but you just feel off? That's kind of how I'm feeling... except it's more like a season than a day. Reminds me of The Byrds song Turn, Turn, Turn!

I did have a wonderful weekend hanging out with my friends for a bachelorette party...

Jill, Angela, & I

Miranda & I

Nothing quite compares to a night that starts off in a short bus with jello shots in syringes and ends up in Milwaukee on a dance floor! Drinks and dancing are better (and way cheaper) than therapy :)

So on a more responsible note, I'm in my 4th week of classes. With the move I had to change around my course schedule and I'm now taking all on-line classes (Modern Humanities, American Federal Government, Biology & Creative Writing: Poetry). I'll have to post some of my poems I've been writing :)

I'm also still driving back to Oklahoma each month to complete my Permaculture Design course. If you're interested in learning more about Permaculture, I highly recommend the book Gaia's Garden by Toby Hemenway. It's practical and has simple steps for utilizing your yard in a way that it will benefit both you and the environment. I'm planning a few upcoming posts to focus on some easy permaculture principles and how they can be applied.

I've been reading a lot of Thoreau lately... A LOT. There's just something about the flow of his words that sooth and calm me. Right now I'm reading All Nature is my Bride: Passages from Journals.

Now back to studying... but I'll leave you with this because I found it on pinterest and I loved it...

source