the sound of silence

I woke up this morning to the theme song for The Office playing merrily from my phone at 10:14 am. Otherwise I might still be sleeping. I stumbled out of bed and fumbled with my phone until the Happy halloween message displayed proudly on my phone.
normally I LOVE Halloween, but this year I'm just not feeling it. Every single weekend since August has been jam packed and filled to the brim with stuff.... birthday parties, weddings, cleaning, shopping, football games, concerts... and unfortunately for Halloween, it lands on the first weekend that I don't have any  major obligations. And I am taking full advantage of that!
Right now, I am sitting in my slippers with the fur and bathrobe at the dining room table while sipping on coffee that was brewed inside my shiny new programmable coffee maker and then drowned in Chocolate Mint Truffle creamer. The sun is shining and all 3 puppies have been outside since my manfriend left for work early this morning. As I sit here contemplating what to do today, I am basking in the sweet glory not being able to come up with a single thing that has to be done.
I saw it as a sign to do nothing today, when my salon called and rescheduled my appt I had originally booked for 11 am this morning. Then my boss informed me that the OU vs. Kansas tickets he had promised me, had also been promised to someone else due to his increasing memory loss. So I happily traded those tickets for tickets to see OU vs Texas A &M in 2 weeks. Within a matter of an hour, 2 obligations flew out the door. Adios.
So here I sit... surrounding myself with endless possibilities. Book shopping? Reading Twilight... again? Browsing on Etsy? Painting the new canvas in my closet that has just been begging me to make it pretty? Taking a trip to the Farmer's Market? Taking a hot bath?
The beauty of today is that all of these are possible because I have all day long to myself. All weekend actually, as the manfriend will be working all day long tomorrow as well.
Are you ready for the very truly best part yet? It's daylight savings day... so I gain an extra hour to my self-indulging weekend.
I read a review for Eat, Pray, Love the other day... don't ask me why because I love the book so much that no other opinion really matters, but I was disturbed to find that a woman wrote a review saying she hated the book because Liz (yes, to me she is Liz, not Elizabeth... we've went through a lot together) was so selfish. Selfish? Selfish for getting out of a marriage that she was not happy in and traveling to countires she has never been before to learn about herself. I was absolutely stunned that I woman could have an opinion like this... every single woman I know who has ever read this book has admired Liz for being brave and taking chances and trying to learn about herself. Speaking from personal experience, you cannot love someone else, or allow someone else to love you, until you love yourself. I believe the world just might be a lot happier of a place if people took the time to cultivate their relationship with themselves rather than trying to please everyone else around them. Self confidence and a good sense of self is incredibly attractive. It seems that when you know who you are and you love yourself, everything just falls into place.

collections

life is a collection
I am a collector
as events happen, I store them in tiny containers on a shelf in my heart
from time to time, I reach for these memories and fondly relive these pieces of life
I fast forward, rewind - replay
I smile, giggle
I melt
sometimes I cry
wanting to travel back in time and make certain moments last forever
but time is forever moving forward
and these containers contain nothing really, but air
memories are fabricated
they are real only in my mind
but I was there
and I smiled, giggled
melted
my wish is to watch my life when it is over a rose colored screen
replaying the wonderful parts
so my life be wonderful
in case I am too old to remember

pieces of the past

Have you ever unexpectedly discovered something you wrote a long time ago and had completely forgotten about... but then you read it and it's like stepping into a time machine that takes you back to the exact moment you wrote it...
I wrote this long ago in the middle of winter while parked in a Fleet Farm parking lot overcome with emotion, I had to pull over because the smile on my face was so big that I couldn't see...

like a map with a new key
navigating uncharted territory
discovering the world isn't round
or flat
but a geometric replica of your
eyes as the catch
the sunlight
and reflect mine
while the topes of your fingers
trace roads we will
travel
adventures we will have
as we share a laugh
discovering the world is unpredictable
and rewards patience
navigating your eyes like they are
the brightest stars in my sky
like a girl with a
new smile

repeat

I discovered a new song today. I have a bad, but unavoidable, habit of overplaying songs... like a teenage girl replaying a conversation had with a crush trying to decode secret hidden meanings in empty words and promises. but way way better for lots of reasons. because although not having any responsibilities would be amazing, I am basking in the knowledge and wisdom and self assurance that comes with being in my (gulp) late twenties. because I get to listen to these lyrics that float like waves into my ears and swim down to the very depths of my soul and change my perception. because I get to close my eyes and take a deep breath, relaxing my body and allowing my sense of hearing take over... abandoning everything around me. every care, every worry, every dish in the sink, every message to return, every line on my to-do list that doesn't have a check mark next to it.

Thank you Hedley for a new music crush...
So why don't you meet me, down behind the old school
We'll waste away the weekend, with perfect regard for how
cavalier we used to be, that beautiful insanity
The apathy's surrounding me
Don't close your eyes or we'll fade away

an experiment of sorts

"Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination."

So here is my goal... to write each and every single day. Even if it's nothing significant or exciting. Even if I can't think of anything to write. Even if I have nothing to say.
I need to get my creativity flowing and figured this is as good a start as any.

This is my motivation... and the endless hours I have spent browsing through shops on Etsy. I have so many ideas but excuses grow like weeds in my garden of productivity. So I am doing some much needed landscaping and pulling the bastards out.

Good bye, lack of motivation... Hello, achieving my goals!

Easy Like A Sunday Morning

The very reason I work for the weekends seems to have vanished. The peaceful serene Sunday morning. The one day of the week when you could lay in bed as long as you like, 1/2 awake, 1/2 asleep. Tiny slivers of light seep in through the vertical blinds and the only sound throughout the house is that of tiny sparrows outside praising the rise of the sun. To slowly roll out of bed into a pair of fuzzy slippers and sleepily swagger into the living room, plunking down on the couch with a good book used to be the highlight of my Sunday. It seemed as though the whole world was either still sleeping or also enjoying this small slice of delicious tranquility in the comfort of their own cozy homes. A morning like that can make you forget of all the evil and wrong that exists in the world. The smell of quiet and coffee drifting sneakily throughout the house, like a lullaby and a rush of adrenaline intertwined that leaves you desperatly wanting more. If only Sunday mornings could last all day long...

Happiness Hangover

So after returning from a weekend overflowing with dear friends, laughter, tears, dresses, photo's and sweet, sweet memories....

I find myself here. By here, I mean reality. The normal daily shit... work, laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning. All the things that your mind forgets about so easily when you are on the 17th floor of a hotel in downtown St. Paul surrounded with some of the most amazing people in the world.
So, in a desperate attempt to get myself out of this little funk I am in... I am going to focus on the positive...
The leaves are changing colors.
I just found a check in my wallet for $23 that I had forgotten about.
There are 3 blank canvases in my closet just waiting for me to get a chance to make them pretty.
I am listening to The Fray and Death Cab For Cutie.
Frankie grew about 5 lbs while I was gone.
Parker told me I smelled divine this morning... thank you Arbonne lotion.
I made an appt to make my hair a little bit darker next Saturday.
My christmas card list is complete.

So much to be happy about, but I still can't help but think that last week at this exact time I was standing outside The University Club wearing a beautiful esspresso colored Alfred Angelo dress, drinking a Coors Light and taking fun pictures with the most amazing wedding party.

If only every weekend could be wedding weekend.....

an introduction of sorts....

My dad alays used to say 'wherever you go, there you are'.... only recently has this made sense to me.

I enjoy watching my coffee and hazelnut creamer swirl together in my oversized white coffee mug.

I am a planner... I make lists, I organize, I love schedules.

I am also very sporadic at times... I love adventure and surprises.

I am a proud pet-parent to:

Monty (a 5 year old Chihuahua mix, rescued from Norman Animal Shelter in January 2009),

Zoe (a 9 month old Chihuahua-Min Pin mix, rescued from being taken to an animal shelter in April 2009)Frankie (a 3 month olf Lab-Hound mix, rescued from being taken to an animal shelter in September 2009)

Jasmine (an ageless kitty, rescued from OKC Humane Society in August 2007)

Bachhus (an overzealous cockatiel who thinks he is a rooster)

I have 4 tattoos... (3 butterflies and a celtic tree of life)

I have read hundreds of books, although everytime I start a list, I misplace it and have to start over.

I love art. drawing, painting, scrapbooking, card-making, sewing... if it involves creativity, I'm all about it.

I am from Wisconsin.  I have a love/hate relationship with snow. I hate how cold it is, but I love driving in it.

My favorite color changes often... right now, it's the olive green shade of my purse.

I love the smell of lilacs and roses. Fresh cut flowers make me smile.

I can name almost any song that comes on the radio, unless if it's country, and tell you who sings it.

I learn something new about myself every single day. 

Autumn creeps in

The breeze is crisp and the air smells clean. The world around me is changing... green to yellow to red to brown... and I adore the vibrancy of autumn's palette.

As much as I hate the bitter cold of winter, I love this time of year... it has a certain calm to it contents me. It seems quieter, more serene than the ever-ending possibilities that summer holds and the hustle and bustle of the holiday madness. I wish I could bottle the coziness I feel while snuggled up under a fuzzy blanket, sipping a cup of hot caramel apple cider.

Tis the season for change... My best friend Courtney is moving back to Pennsylvania. In less than one week, instead of lunch dates, we will be enjoying phone dates. A piece of me will get on the moving truck and leave Oklahoma forever next week, but I know this isn't the end.  Although my own selfishness is trying to take over, I've declined the invite to my own pity-party.  I'm beginning to accept the distance and I'm excited to support her on her new adventure.... she has so much life to live and so much love to give, I can't wait to see what lies next on her journey through life.

Katie, my best friend since 2nd period Art class in high school is getting married in 2 weeks.  I couldn't be happier.  She is marrying a wonderful guy and I am so honored to be a bridesmaid and personal attendant.  I will be flying to Minneapolis for 4 days of laughter, tears, smiles and sheer joy. Katie is the epitome of a truly genuine person.  She has a heart of gold and a passion for life.  We've been through thick and thin, went years without seeing each other yet we have remained close. She's not only my best friend, she's the wind beneath my wings.

to come into existence

Main Entry: be·gin

Pronunciation: \bi-ˈgin, bē-\
Function: verb
1 : to do the first part of an action : go into the first part of a process : start
2 a : to come into existence : arise b : to have a starting point
3 : to do or succeed in the least degree

it's windy.
it's the first day of october.
i'm wearing blue moccasins.
i should be working.

there were just too many good reasons to begin a blog.